Before I begin my review I would just like to say that this is coming from someone who has seen the Broadway production of Rock of Ages and loved it. Anyway, here it goes:
Rock of Ages is the story of a "small town girl" (Julianne Hough) and a "city boy" (Diego Boneta) who both have a dream to be rockstars in Los Angeles. The city boy works for Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin), the owner of a rock bar where Stacie Jaxx (Tom Cruise) is about to perform. After seeing the small town girl mugged, the city boy gets her a job at his bar, and the stupidity of their pointless romance begins. May I also mention that Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is trying to "clean up the streets" and get rid of the rock-and-roll, which is just a stupid plot excuse to 1) sing the songs "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "We Built This City on Rock-and-Roll" at the same time, and 2) make sure the movie was long enough (sadly, it was too long).
The only people I actually cared about were Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand, who weren't in it nearly enough. I also cared about Tom Cruise's monkey, "Hey Man", but he doesn't really count as a person. Both Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta were horrible, annoying, and overall stupid and frustrating. Tom Cruise gave it all he got and was hilarious at first, however, eventually, he was repetitive and overplayed. Catherine Zeta-Jones was terrible, and her husband (played by Brian Cranston, who I usually love) was one of the stupidest, unfunny, and least important characters ever. Not To See: That is the answer.
I am not a huge fan of 80's music, but I can easily say that this flick had me tapping my toes and singing along to just about every jam. The story itself was weak, but whenever they focused on the music and Tom Cruise, the film won me over. Nice review Theo.
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